How projection sabotages professional and spiritual growth

5 Signs you're projecting your weaknesses unto others according to clinical psychologists. Recognise 3 or more, you may be spreading toxicity.

Are you one to fault your team for missing deadlines you yourself missed? Criticizing your boss’s communication style while you leave colleagues unread for days, or complaining about organizational dysfunction, when your output has been inconsistent?

Projection is a common defense mechanism. We do this by attributing our own positive or negative traits, feelings, or impulses to others for several reasons, including our innate desires to validate assumptions, avoid responsibility, and protect our ego.

One might think we project only negative traits onto distant relationships, but we do so even in close, meaningful relationships like marriage and work. Without evidence, a husband likely accuses his wife of cheating if he feels insecure with his fidelity to her. At work, a manager who feels insecure about their own performance might accuse an employee of being lazy, even when they’re working hard.

Projection gets in the way of your professional development by blocking the self-awareness you need to lead yourself, your team, or your home.

And what can we say about projection and your faith? Well, for starters, fixating yourself on other people’s weaknesses while you’re blind to the “plank in your own eye” is as immature as it is pharisaical.

Projection leads to self-deception, which, in turn, prevents believers from spiritual maturity.

Fortunately, many of us know we need to grow spiritually. Still, less than one in five Christians (just 18%) said in a 2011 study that they’re fully committed to investing in their spiritual maturity.

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You need character as much as competence

Modern research suggests that we may be aware of certain unwanted traits within ourselves but still project these onto others, sometimes without even realizing it.

One of the smartest Nigerian techies I know resigned from a job owing to his boss’s excesses: late-night work calls, no weekend breaks, micromanagement, and other issues that threatened his mental health.

Later, as a freelancer, he acknowledged his weaknesses, such as a tendency to work spontaneously, even though he had agreed to a structured project deadline with his client. The truth was that without accountability, he’d often leave tasks until the last minute. Yet, he was sure he’d never work for someone like his old boss again.

A survey of over 75,000 people around the globe on the most desirable leadership trait found that Leader honesty, which aligns with integrity, ranked highest.

But reports state that about 90% of individuals on dating sites lie; about 40% of resumes contain inaccuracies; children tell 86% of lies, and 75% lie to their friends. Perhaps more alarming is that 70% of liars indicate they would lie again when convenience or personal gain is at stake.

So we want integrity in our leaders, whether at home, work, or in our communities, but not in ourselves?

One problem is that many people try to navigate work through hard competence or technical skills alone, or primarily. We assume excellence in execution will compensate for inconsistency in character, but it usually doesn’t.

Character is essential for productivity. That’s why some people, despite huge potential, aren’t manifesting excellence. They lack the character traits associated with productive people.

Sometimes, other people are difficult and are entirely responsible for the outcomes they get, and sometimes we’ll be unable to change them. But there are things that we can control.

A LinkedIn Global Talent Trends report says that about 89% of recruiters believe that a bad hire generally comes down to a lack of soft skills. Similarly, an America Succeeds study analyzing data from 82 million job postings found that the top five soft skills were requested nearly 4x more often than the top five hard skills.

What I believe is common to all soft skills is leadership: intra-personal and interpersonal. Leadership might mean different things to different people, but what matters most, as I earlier stated, is integrity, the consistency between your values, daily actions, and your organisation’s goals.

Even the least ranked employee in an organisation is a leader insofar as they commit to achieving their employer’s goals through the stated values and tasks.

However, when you habitually project, you’re shielding your ego from facts about yourself; you are demonstrating an inconsistency between what you demand of others and what you allow in yourself.

To see clearly and lead with integrity, we must first face what we are struggling with.

Photo by Eilis Garvey on Unsplash

Five clinical signs you’re projecting onto others

If you recognize three or more of these common signs, you are likely carrying and spreading a toxic pattern.

1. You blame others for mistakes you also make

You have an almost automatic refusal to acknowledge personal shortcomings and shift the blame to others.

Examples:

• Criticizing colleagues for being “bad communicators” while you leave Slack messages unanswered for days

• Blaming your team for missing deadlines when you consistently turn in work late

• Complaining about unprofessional coworkers while showing up late to meetings

2. You get upset or defensive when someone gives you feedback

You react with an intense, disproportionate emotional response like immediate anger, profound outrage, or extreme defensiveness to feedback or actions that are objectively minor.

This is perhaps the most revealing sign in workplace contexts, a disproportionate emotional reaction to feedback that, objectively, is meant to help you grow professionally.

Examples:

• Becoming hostile during performance reviews when weaknesses are mentioned

• Viewing constructive feedback as a personal attack on your competence

• Quitting jobs or projects when accountability increases

3. You feel threatened when colleagues receive recognition you think you deserve

Research shows that when we suppress unwanted traits, we become hypersensitive to signs of that trait in external objects. In the workplace, projection often manifests as misplaced resentment toward colleagues who are succeeding in areas where you’re secretly struggling.

This looks like:

• Attributing a coworker’s promotion to “politics” rather than examining why you weren’t promoted

• Dismissing a peer’s success as “luck” while refusing to analyze their actual strategy

• Feeling threatened by team members who demonstrate skills you lack

• Creating narratives about why others don’t deserve their positions

4. Mind-reading others and accusing them of intent to harm you

You accuse others of having specific, negative internal motives when you have no concrete evidence. For example, you are certain a coworker is “scheming to undermine you” or that your partner is “emotionally distant,” just when you need them the most.

A manager feeling insecure about their performance might accuse a capable direct report of “trying to take their job”. The manager is the one harboring the fear of being replaced, and they are projecting that emotional state onto the subordinate to reduce the internal stress.

5. Championing integrity publicly but lacking the same

You project a noble and ethical public image but display inconsistent, uncontrolled behavior in private toward subordinates, family, or when you think you’re not being watched.

When you passionately advocate for accountability and communication but act cruelly or inconsistently in private, it exposes your weaknesses.

These signs aren’t exhaustive.

And while projection is a habitual weakness, it can be reduced over time with intention.

Projection is an unconscious defense mechanism. It takes keen observation and honest self-evaluation, or better, an accountable partner(s), someone who will tell you the truth and support you through it. This might be a mentor, your spouse, a close friend, or a Christian counselor. The key is choosing someone whose judgment you respect and whose feedback you’ve committed to receiving without defensiveness.

But generally, when you feel the urge to criticize others, pause and ask yourself if you’re seeing something in them that you haven’t admitted in yourself. Put yourself in their shoes so you can check your ego before you blame them.